Strange Teeth
Rhiannon: Hey, are you up?

Whistler: Hey. Yeah, way too awake. Infomercials keeping me company. How was patrol?

Rhiannon: I think we'll start with excruciating. Patrol was excruciating.

Whistler: Can't be worse than watching Ron Popeil hawking hair in a can. I swear this stuff's older than me. Wanna elaborate?

Rhiannon: Wait a minute... Hair in a can. Not something you're considering purchasing i hope

Whistler: I've gone this long without losing (too much) l.o.l. Don't worry, not even gonna color any greys when they come

Rhiannon: Smart man, can you imagine hair that rubs off? (The can)
Rhiannon: Anyway. So pain, yeah
Rhiannon: I ran into a demon with more than one mouth, a feature i didn’t notice until its tail bit me. Any clue what the hell that was?

Whistler: Two mouths, tail. Did it smell like burnt almonds?

Rhiannon: Uhh... wtf, like I roast almonds
Rhiannon: I dont think i've ever done anything that wholesome
Rhiannon: But sure there was a burnt thing going on
Rhiannon: Why?

Whistler: There's three sub-species of Yaggaroth, all branching off from the main, which yes, has mouths on their tails. The first is fairly benign and only attack when their eggs are threatened. You can tell 'em by the rotten egg smell they give off (it's defensive). The second's more... artistic. They like to sing but the sonics can make your ears bleed. They smell like tulips. The burnt almond Yaggaroth are nasty sons of bitches. I'm guessing by this lovely text exchange that you got the upper hand?

Rhiannon: Well i no longer have my right ear, but i'd call it a win

Whistler: WTF? Hold on, make sure you have it on ice, I'll be right over with a sewing kit

Rhiannon: Oh, i was supposed to ask for it back?

Whistler: Whatcha mean ask? Jesus, Rhi...
Whistler: Oh
Whistler: Yer fuckin' with me
Whistler: Har bloody har

Rhiannon: Would i seriously be on instant messenger if i had no ear? Unlikely

Whistler: Still
Whistler: Would you be in hospital if you had no ear? Unlikely. You'd probably be at my door

Rhiannon: Well anyway, it bit the back of my neck
Rhiannon: Thankfully i caught myself before i poured peroxide all over it
Rhiannon: That would’ve been a bad hair move

Whistler: I can't see you as a blonde
Whistler: Did it break the skin?
Whistler: Watch out for needles forming

Rhiannon: Are you serious
Rhiannon: Fuck yeah it broke the skin, it was a mouth
Rhiannon: Hello teeth

Whistler: Nah, you're just gonna have a really obvious hickey for a week
Whistler: Make sure you 'fess up to Joseph now

Rhiannon: It'll just blend with the others. ;)
Rhiannon: So what’s with you, stranger

Whistler: Apartment hunting. Who knew there were so many places that were worse than I'm staying now? Plus, I think I caught a cold

Rhiannon: With a baseball mitt and everything?
Rhiannon: Our building's alright but i couldn't have paid for it without Purity
Rhiannon: Speaking of cash, you never called my ass about your bayou demons

Whistler: It's still on the table, so don't worry. It'll get spanked soon enough
Whistler: And no, the old fashioned kind. Christ, when was the last time you ever saw me get sick? Damned seasons, watch the leaves change, ha

Rhiannon: I'm about to have to take a job at walmart. Maybe they'll make me a greeter.

Whistler: You'd look good in a blue vest
Whistler: I've got the file here. Swing by tomorrow and I'll pass you an advance

Rhiannon: Fuck your mom ;)

Whistler: Aren't we in a good mood tonight
Whistler: l.o.l.

Rhiannon: Do you have any idea how that would look, me showing up at your room and leaving with a wad of cash?

Whistler: First one's free, Rhi. But you get a taste, you'll end up paying me

Rhiannon: 2 minutes of glory
Rhiannon: How ever would i recover?

Whistler: I seem to remember you chugging a full carton of orange juice and begging for thirds

Rhiannon: Are you delusional?

Whistler: A little feverish maybe
Whistler: But the memory's sharp as a tack ;)

Rhiannon: Ha
Rhiannon: Brb i need to grab something to eat
Rhiannon: Okay that was a bust
Rhiannon: We should consider getting something other than cheese
Rhiannon: Purity's got some kind of weird meatball thing in aluminum foil
Rhiannon: I think I'll pass

Whistler: You need another roommate just for someone who can cook

Rhiannon: They'll have to sleep in the bathtub

Whistler: I've slept in my share (not that I'm offering), if you've got a jacuzzi tub they can be quite comfortable

Rhiannon: Since when am I a high-roller? We're lucky to have hot water ;)

Whistler: You want one? I know a guy

Rhiannon: I'm not surprised
Rhiannon: What are you going to be for halloween?

Whistler: Uh, geez I dunno. I suspect vampires are gonna be in, but that's not me. Maybe I'll dress up as Gerald
Whistler: How's about you?

Rhiannon: Wow, be careful with the gnome hat, you might accidentally channel klan member
Rhiannon: I suspect the suspenders and pointy shoes will make up for it

Whistler: Heh, maybe if I was the ghost of Gerald

Rhiannon: I dunno, I saw an ad for a benefit thing i was thinking of doing instead but i dunno how black tie i'm feeling.

Whistler: Ever notice how every time we do some black tie thingamabob, something goes wrong? Like the time Deanna showed up

Rhiannon: Don’t remind me, she dressed up as her favorite slayer. How flattering to see myself as the washed-up undead
Rhiannon: But that wasn’t black tie, that was halloween at fang noir

Whistler: Point to you
Whistler: This is supposed to be the one night the ghoulies give a pass, but I'd worry that the great unwashed won't know that

Rhiannon: maybe i'm better off hitting the pavement, yeah?
Rhiannon: I'll figure it out

Whistler: Lemme know if you need back-up (yeah, right)

Rhiannon: Sometimes i do! You'd have known about Almond Joy’s second mouth

Whistler: If I shake this thing by all Hallow's Eve, count me in for a walk-along

Rhiannon: Oh god. A mouth on his tail, what does he eat with that thing?
Rhiannon: Do i want to be asking that?

Whistler: No, you really don't

Rhiannon: Oookay gonna need another shower

Whistler: Stupid point to offer now, but they really hate garlic

Rhiannon: Now my neck is going psychosomatic on me

Whistler: Can't stand the smell
Whistler: Antibiotic soap and water (not that it's in any way infectious)

Rhiannon: You put the needle imagery in my head
Rhiannon: I'm scanning for bristles

Whistler: *head on keyboard*

Rhiannon: Maybe i'll grow an extra mouth somewhere
Rhiannon: Who couldn't use one of those?

Whistler: You know, they made a movie like that once
Whistler: Perfect for a Hallowe'en scare
Whistler: 'Teeth'
Whistler: Google it

Rhiannon: ...
Rhiannon: How is a film about a girl with teeth in her vag halloweenish?

Whistler: You don't think it'd scare every guy in existence?

Rhiannon: There may be a few masochistic hold-outs

Whistler: Put that up against 'War of the Worlds', I guarantee who's more likely to shit their pants

Rhiannon: Original radio broadcast?

Whistler: Nah, nothin' can touch that
Whistler: And if you want equal time, there is a film with a detached penis with teeth too

Rhiannon: Hey aren’t those called vibrators?

Whistler: Those don't usually try to eat you from the inside

Rhiannon: Mine do ;)

Whistler: Now she tells me

Rhiannon: It would’ve hurt your pride to know i was packin battery controlled supplements

Whistler: Seriously?
Whistler: Doubtful
Whistler: Okay maybe
Whistler: But seriously?

Rhiannon: Lol
Rhiannon: What?

Whistler: I'm not one of those guys who feels inadequate if the girl has a um, right, supplement as you said
Whistler: But not that you needed to hide

Rhiannon: I’m fucking with you

Whistler: This is why I hate online talking. I can never tell

Rhiannon: You can never tell anyway, unless you poke around in my head

Whistler: Which I've vowed not to do again, so yeah true

Rhiannon: Unless i tell you to, in which case it’s ok and comes slap-free

Whistler: A-yup
Whistler: Or you (or I) really need to project something to save our asses

Rhiannon: Right
Rhiannon: Oh by the way, i met a werewolf
Rhiannon: Some guy named Gavin
Rhiannon: Originally i gave him my number in case of good guy collaboration but our conversation had a rough dismount so who knows

Whistler: Huh, I met a vampire named Avery. Guy doesn't drink human blood. I didn't think to get his number 'cuz I was very drunk and he nearly accidentally speared my dick with an arrow
Whistler: But he knows where I live

Rhiannon: Um
Rhiannon: Cupid vamp?
Rhiannon: Somebody mentioned that guy to me, faith maybe when she got hurt

Whistler: Yes, Rhi, 'cuz that's where my heart lives :)
Whistler: From what I got, she was training him for some big fight with another vamp
Whistler: And why he was out in the park, dead of night, playing bow and arrow

Rhiannon: Too bad she got in that fight instead
Rhiannon: Grace

Whistler: Heard that name before

Rhiannon: Yeah
Rhiannon: Not going there right now, being nearly eaten by something's ass is enough unpleasantness for tonight

Whistler: Alright, maybe that's a conversation for a Denny's after a future patrol

Rhiannon: Sounds like a plan
Rhiannon: Hey i gotta crash

Whistler: Better hurry; sun's coming up in 30

Rhiannon: Blackout curtains engaged

Whistler: Sweet dreams Rhi

Rhiannon: Miss you, Whistles

Whistler: Back atcha